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Nowhere has Christian morality
come under greater attack than in the whole area of sex outside marriage.
The Biblical teaching that sex is only for marriage does not even enter
the thinking of most people today. The Biblical condemnation of illicit
sexual acts has become for many a license for sexual experimentation. The
popular acceptance of sexual permissiveness is evidenced by the introduction
and use of "softer terms." Fornication, for example, is referred
to as "pre-marital sex" with the accent on the "pre"
rather than on the "marital." Adultery is now called "extra-marital
sex," implying an additional experience like some extra-professional
activities. Homosexuality has gradually been softened from serious perversion
through "deviation" to "gay variation." Pornographic
literature and films are now available to "mature audiences"
or "adults."
The Biblical condemnation of
sexual relations before or outside marriage is abundantly clear. Adultery,
or sexual intercourse between married women or married men and someone
other than their marital partners, is condemned as a serious sin. Not only
is adultery forbidden in both versions of the Decalogue (Ex 20:14; Deut
5:18), but it was also punishable by death in ancient Israel: "If
a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer
and the adulteress shall be put to death" (Lev 20:10; cf. 18:20; Deut
22:22-24). The same punishment was meted out to a man or a woman who engaged
in pre-marital sex (Deut 22:13-21, 23-27).
The New Testament goes beyond
the Old Testament by internalizing the whole sexuality of a person and
placing it within the context of motivation. Jesus emphasized that to entertain
lustful desires toward a person of the opposite sex outside marriage means
to be guilty of adultery (Matt 5:27-28). The reason for this is that defilement
comes not only from outward acts but also from inward thoughts, which in
Biblical symbology derive from the heart: "Out of the heart come evil
thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander.
These are what defile a man" (Matt 15:19-20).
Sexual laxness was pervasive
in the Greco-Roman world of New Testament times. Hence, one of the conditions
the Jerusalem council made for the inclusion of the Gentiles in the Christian
Church was that they should abstain from all forms of "unchastity"
(Acts 15:20,29). Paul's letters reveal the difficulties the apostle had
in leading Gentile converts away from sexual immorality. To the Thessalonians,
he wrote: "For you know what instructions we gave you through the
Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you
abstain from unchastity; that each of you know how to take a wife for himself
in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like heathen who do not
know God" (1 Thess 4:2-5).
Here Paul admonishes those
who had sexual urges to satisfy them by entering not into temporary relationships
"in the passion of lust like the heathen who do not know God,"
but into permanent marital relationships. Such relationships are to be
characterized by "holiness and honor." Paul is most explicit
in his condemnation of prostitution. He asks the Corinthians who lived
in the celebrated sex center of the Mediterranean world: "Do you now
know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her?
For, as it is written, 'The two shall become one flesh.' But he who is
unified to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him. Shun immorality. Every
other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man
sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of
the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own;
you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Cor
6:16-20).
In this passage, Paul helps
us to see why the Bible strongly condemns sex outside marriage. Sex represents
the most intimate of all interpersonal relationships, expressing a "one-flesh"
unity of total commitment. Such a unity of commitment cannot be expressed
or experienced in a casual sexual union with a prostitute where the concern
is purely commercial and recreational. The only oneness experienced in
such sexual unions is the oneness of sexual immorality. Sexual immorality
is serious because it affects the individual more deeply and permanently
than any other sin. Paul describes it as a sin committed inside the body:
"Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the
immoral man sins against his own body" (1 Cor 6:18).
It might be objected that all
sins of sensuality such as gluttony or drunkenness affect a person inside
the body. Yet they do not have the same permanent effect on the personality
as the sin of fornication. Indulgence in eating or drinking can be overcome,
stolen goods can be returned, lies can be retracted and replaced by the
truth. But the sexual act, once committed with another person, cannot be
undone. A radical change has taken place in the interpersonal relationship
of the couple involved that can never be undone. Something indelible has
stamped on them both forever. Even with a prostitute, sexual union leaves
its permanent mark. It is a spot in the consciousness that cannot be removed.
"The immoral man sins against his own body."
This truth is openly rejected
by those who regard pre-marital sex not as sinful, but as helpful to a
satisfactory sexual adjustment in marriage. Some even believe that sexual
relations with the person one intends to marry are necessary to guarantee
sexual compatibility. Such attitudes fail to recognize that sexual intercourse
before marriage is the worst possible preparation for marriage. The reasons
for this are not difficult to discover.
Sex Without Commitment
To begin with, sex before marriage
is sex without commitment. If we do not like our partners, we can change
and find somebody else. Such casual relationships destroy the integrity
of the person by reducing it to an object to be used for personal gratification.
Some, who feel hurt and used after sexual encounters, may withdraw altogether
from sexual activity for fear of being used again or may decide to use
their bodies selfishly, without regard to the feeling of others. Either
way, our sexuality is distorted because it destroys the possibility of
using it to relate genuinely and intimately toward the one we love. Sex
cannot be used as a means for fun with one partner at one time and as a
way to express genuine love and commitment with another partner at another
time.
Those who become accustomed
to a variety of sexual partners will find it difficult, if not impossible,
to express through sex their total commitment and final intimacy to their
marital partners. Engaged couples will probably deny that when they sleep
together they are not expressing genuine commitment to one another. But
if they were fully and finally committed to each other, they would be married.
Engagement is the preparation for marriage, but it is not marriage. Until
the wedding vows are taken, the possibility of breaking up a relationship
exists. If a couple has had intercourse together, they have compromised
their relationship. Any subsequent break up will leave permanent emotional
scars.
It is only when we are willing
to become one, not only verbally but also legally by assuming responsibility
for our partners, that we can seal our relationships through sexual intercourse.
In this setting, sex fittingly expresses the ultimate commitment and the
final intimacy. Marriage licenses and wedding ceremonies are not mere formalities
but serve to formalize the marriage commitment. As Elizabeth Achtemeier
explains: "Just the fact that such young people [living together]
are hesitant legally to seal their union is evidence that their commitment
to one another is not total. Marriage licenses and ceremonies are not only
legal formalities; they are also symbols of responsibility. They say publicly,
what is affirmed privately, without reservation, that I am responsible
for my mate - responsible not only in all those lovely emotional and spiritual
areas of married life, but responsible also in the down-to-earth areas
that have to do with grubby things like money, health insurance, and property.
For example, two people just
living together have no obligation for each other when the tax form comes
up for an audit, or the other is involved in a car accident and legal suit;
but persons holding a marriage license do have such responsibility, and
commitment to a marriage involves accepting that public responsibility
too. It is a matter of accepting the full obligations that society imposes
on its adult members in order to ensure the common good."
___________________________________________________________________________
A PERSONAL NOTE: The subject of sex outside marriage
has come under considerable discussion in several news organizations. I
have addressed this question from a Biblical perspective in my book THE
MARRIAGE COVENANT. I am posting a couple of pages that bear on the on-going
discussion. Feel free to contact me if you would like me to e-mail you
the whole chapter or send you the book.
 THE MARRIAGE COVENANT
Retired Professor of Theology and Church History, Andrews University
4990 Appian Way
Berrien Springs, MI 49103
Phone: (269) 471-2915 Fax (269) 978-6898
E-mail: sbacchiocchi@biblicalperspectives.com
HOMEPAGE: http://www.biblicalperspectives.com
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Written by Guest on 2006-04-10 11:46:52
Im a Muslim
I agree with what this man says.. Here in UK, i doubt many Christians think like that though... We got Gay priests here now and all that.. lol | What is this junk????
Written by Guest on 2006-04-13 04:38:19
What does this have to do with Kaftoun? It should be deleted. |
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The Village of Kaftoun, Koura, Lebanon
This lovely mountain resort town is perched above the eastern end of
the beautiful Kadisha Gorge and at the foothills of the Cedars of Lebanon.
It is the brith place of Lebanon's most famous author
Khalil Gibran. It has a small museum which pays tribute to him.
Beiteddine palace was built over a period of thirty years by Emir Bechir Chehab II.
It's architecture reflects the typical oriental architecture of the 19th century Ottoman Era.
It is remarkable for its glamorous
arcades, multicolored mosaic floors, reception rooms, harems, hammams
and even by its guest house "Diyafa" where passing guests were lodged
(French poet Lamartine stayed once there).
Detail of the Sarcophagus of Ahiram, king of Byblos, seated
on a cherub throne, before an offering table, 13th century B.C (National Museum of Beirut).
Around 1200 B.C. the scribes of Byblos developed an alphabetic phonetic script, the precursor of our modern
alphabet. By 800 B.C., it had traveled to Greece, changing forever the way man communicated.
Located in the Beqaa Valley of Lebanon, Baalbek is an ancient city
that has been designated as a UNESCO World Heritage site. Originally
Canaanite (3rd century BC), the Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, Byzantines,
and Arabs successively occupied Ba'albek and left their imprints on the
place, often modifying what existed previously.
